Certified to terrorize dam I got you mesmerized

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The 3 little politicians (and the big bad tax payer).

Rewind back a couple years, there was once a government who looked after 3 politicians, and he do not have enough tax payers money to fund there luxurious lives of fine dining pointless commodities, so after many years the government decided it could not afford it any more and with that he sent them out into the normal world to con the nation with lies and deception.

The eldest of the politicians went first, and he trotted along the road and came to a hard working tax payer with bundles of straw and with the power: of deception, false promises, and lies he came to a good deal (for the politician) secretly leaving the tax payers out of pocket and with that he set off to build his house of straw where he would then use it to make a ‘connection to the public’ to show he was ‘one of them’ as a pathetic attempt to be accepted by ‘his people’.

when he had finished building his house, a week later, the same tax payer he had sold to had walked past his house and realise that he had been had, he was outraged and fuming, but he kept cool and devised a plan to get back at the politician and to show that you don’t mess with tax payers.

So he knocked on the door and said:

”Little politician!Little politician! Let me in! Let me in!”

Realising it was the taxpayer he conned by looking through the keyhole, he answered back:

"No! no! not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

Then the tax payer smiled with an evil grin said:

”Fine, have it your way and i will burn your house down”

So he dashed petrol on the straw house and burnt his house down and ate the little politician to dispose of the evidence.

Now, the next little politician, he started his journey trotting, like the last and just like his elder he too saw a tax payer (the same one his elder saw) this time with a bundle of logs and with the power of: deception, false promises, and lies he came to a good deal (for the politician) secretly leaving the tax payer out of pocket, again, and with that he set off to build his house of logs where he would then use it to make a ‘connection to the public’ to show he was ‘one of them’ as a pathetic attempt to be accepted by ‘his people’.

When the politician had finished building his house, a couple of weeks later, the same tax payer walked past his house and he realised that he had been had ,again by another politician, he was outraged and fuming. ”How could this happen again” he shouted to himself but, again, he kept cool and devised a plan to get back at the politician and to show that you don’t mess with tax payers.

So he knocked on the door and said:

”Little politician!Little politician! Let me in! Let me in!”

Realising it was the tax payer he conned by looking through the keyhole, he answered back:

"No! no! not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

Then the tax payer smiled with an evil grin, more evil than last time, and said:

”Fine, have it your way and i will burn your house down”

So he dashed petrol on the log house, trapping the politician in as fear filled his eyes and his life flashed before him, every evil dishonest deed he had done came back as if to send him off. His house burnt down and then the tax payer ate the little politician,decapitating him limb from limb to destroy the evidence.

Time for the last little politician to make his way, off he started his journey trotting, and just like his two elders, saw a tax payer (the same one his elders had seen) this time with a load of bricks and with the power of: deception, false promises, and lies he came to a good deal (for the politician) secretly leaving the tax payer out of pocket, again, and with that he set off to build his house of bricks where he would then use it to make a ‘connection to the public’ to show he was ‘one of them’ as a pathetic attempt to be accepted by ‘his people’.

When he had finished building his house, a couple of weeks later, the same tax payer he had sold to had walked past his house and realise that he had been had, again by another politician, he was outraged and fuming, ”how could this happen again” he shouted to himself but, again, he kept cool and devised a plan to get back at the politician and to show that the that you don’t mess with tax payers.

So he knocked on the door and said:

”Little politician!Little politician! Let me in! Let me in!”

Realising it was the tax payer he conned by looking through the keyhole, he answered back:

"No! no! not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

Then the tax payer smiled with an evil grin, more evil than last time, and said:

”Fine, have it your way and i will burn your house down”

So just like last time and the time before he dashed petrol on the brick house but something was different this time because the house would not catch a light, and he tried and he tried and he tried with no luck. And on that note he left and came back the next day with a new plan. So the next day, bright and early he knocked on little politician’s door.

”Knock knock”

”I am sorry about yesterday man, I was just angry, I will make it up to you.”

”Really!” said the little politician sounding as convinced as he could be at the request.

”Yeah, I’ll make a meal to apologize and you know, start fresh”

”That sounds wonderful!”

The little politician continued to say.

Now before we continue, it’s vital that you know both the little politician and the big bad tax payer are lying to each other through there teeth so hard that there teeth could fall out at any time and all they wanted is to see the other suffer.

Unfortunately the little politician, being a politician, was two steps ahead of the tax payer and realised the situation unfolding and knew he had to get the politician first.

”Ok i understand I have deeply upset you and the pain I caused must be indescribable, so instead of you making me dinner I will make you dinner because I am making food anyway.”

The little politician went on talking so much bull, about how he was so very sorry and how he never meant to cause no one pain, that his mouth might as well had been a sewer, all to divert the tax payer from the truth.

”You know what, your ok and I think I will join you for dinner.”

Said the tax payer after finding a heart to forgive little politician and give him another chance.

”Come through. Wait, just one little problem”

Said the politician

”And what might that be?”

Said the tax payer

”Errm well after you tried to burn down my house yesterday, all the locks in my house jammed. The doors don’t work, so if you still want to stay for dinner you can climb down the chimney and join me if that is not a problem. Its safe to go down trust me”

Replied the politician.

The tax payer though for a brief second if he should stay or not and after thinking he decided.

”Ok I’ll come down”

The politician could not believe his luck because the truth is the politician had no food and was boiling the water using the chimney fire in need of contents to add to the pot, and as the tax payer started coming down the chimney , the steam from the pot made the chimney slippery with water vapour and he lost his grip…

”Watch out for the pot at the bottom, its hot .. oh wait too late.. ohhh my bad.”
said the politician in raw sarcasm.

And the tax payer fell into the pot of boiling water, slowly melting the skin off him. His flesh turning the colour of the water red, leaving just his bones to float on top. The politician then removed the bones off the top of the water and replaced the lid on the cauldron to cook and ate the tax payer for dinner after that night.

Testing out how i would do the front cover so i outlined the pencil in pall point pen.

After i outlined the pencil i then colored it in using water colour the  went back over the outline in ball point again because the outline faded when i colored over it.  

Filed under watercolor paint book story read pig 3 little pigs 3 political FMP

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Sleeping Cougar

Chapter 1:

There was once a working class wife and husband who where desperate to have kids.
They tried through many different ways, from natural impregnation (sex) to IVF, unfortunately it just simply wasn’t happening.
By some miracle and years of determination she conceived and 9 months later having a daughter.
To celebrate they had a Christine, the Christine was beautiful and the baby’s god mother rounded up the locals from around the estate, she invited 7 of them hoping they would all have a gift for the baby after the the Christine at the after party all so the baby could have a good start in life.

After the ceremony the father of the baby invited everyone to his council flat for a house party, it was amazing, bass booming everyone chilling as the father prepared for the drinking game an unexpected knock came from the door, ‘open up the fukin door! there is a party and no one invited me?’ screamed the local crackhead (who also happened to be the cuisine of the babies father) ‘oh for fuck sake why is your crack head cuisine knocking on our door’ mother said to father ‘i don’t know, just let her be for once be nice’ he said in return and with this they both came to the conclusion that they will let her come in as they they where feeling good but on the exception that she could not drink. For the whole night she just kissed her teeth cussed, complain and muttered snide remarks under her breath putting the people on edge around her. whilst this was happening the one of the 7 locals (who was a nurse) over herd this and took it upon herself to give her gift to the baby last, just incase the crack head decided to give the baby a bad gift and with that she kept herself hidden in the background. At last at around 1am in the morning gift time came and one by one every guest came up and gave the baby presents all consisting of a bottle of alcohol and a wish of a blessed life better than there own until the crack head came forth and gave her gift, witch was a crack pipe followed by a curse she screamed on the top of her lungs ‘I HOPE YOU DIE OF A CREACK OVER DOSE’… everyone fell silent in shock and all that was herd after 30 seconds was small sniffs that came from the mother of the baby just as the babies father was about to shout abuse and death threats the nurse became from out the background and spoke in an all so serious tone of reassurance ‘i am not powerful enough to lift the curse but what i can do it assure you your daughter will not die from a drug overdose , instead she will be in a human vegetable for 100 years unless a lawyer can awake her by having sex with her’

1st draft written down (as you can see allot of planing and mistakes)   

Chapter 2:

Word spread quick, the next day everyone went around spreading the news and by 2 weeks everyone knew that this baby must never come into contact with a crack needle or any needs of necessary just to make shore that this curse was to never come true.
16 years has passed and it was the summer holiday and the baby now a bored teenager was playing up and down the stairs running from the bottom to the top of the flats to pass time whilst mother and father went out to do shopping.This time is was different this bored teenager never went all the way to the top of the flats before and today she was about to change that. So as she got to the top of the flats she stopped and panted out of breath then fearlessness took over her and with this she stared looking around the top floor of the flats out of curiosity when she she came to an open door with fearlessness still with her so she decided to walk though the door to be greeted by a little old lady ‘hello young lady what brings you all the way up here’ and in reply the bored teenager said ‘curiosity, what are you doing now it looks really interesting and they do it on t.v i seen it i know what to do can i have a go’. ‘eeem well this is is for big people and i don’t think you will be aloud to shoot crack into your veins’ said the old little old lady calmly unbeknown to the needle ban on the little but regardless of the warnings the old lady gave her she still wanted a go and took the needle off the little old lady , slapped her vain and used the tie lying in the floor ( like in the movies ) then put the needle into her veins and pushed.

Instantly the innocent baby, now bored teenager, dropped to the floor and as she did all the little old lady could do was watch in horror, ‘what had just happened’ she said to herself covered in panic. After failed attempts to resurrect the bored teenager the little old lady phoned the ambulance, as she waited for the ambulance the fearlessness the bored teenager one had, now turned to fear witch ran rampant around the council estate striking in the hearts of the locals. Within minuets the; ambulance, followed by concerned residence, and nosey neighbours reached the flat where the lifeless body lay. Finely after what seemed like forever her mother and father had come back from there shopping only to find that there daughter’s curse had been activated and all they could do is sit in the back of the van in anger and sorrow.
Half an hour later, the bored old teenage, now a lifeless vegetable, lay peacefully on the hospital bed in the comer ward in complete silence with a support machine by her side imitating her faded hart beat…. beep…beep……….beep…beep……….beep…beep and on that note her mother and father did only what they could, which was kiss her on her head and prey for her to wake up by some miracle.

Chapter 3:

Many years had past, 92 to be exact, still and the innocent baby now cougar still lay on the hospital bed lifeless vegetable, lay peacefully on the hospital bed in the comer ward in complete silence with a support machine by her side imitating her faded hart beat…. beep…beep……….beep…beep……….beep…beep
Over the many years the hospital had shut down due to cuts in the NHS, regardless the empty building was sill in tacked but run down with the only cougar left hidden deep in the ward forgotten and neglected, that was about to change.

'whats in that in that abandoned hospital across the road from us , I swear something is in there' This was the third time this week he had said this and to 3 different and they all said something along the lines of 'ghost of the dead .maybe a few crackheads and graffiti galore'. This answer did not satisfy him so he did the most logical thing in the mind of a 20 year old. So the next day he obtained a pair of bolt cutters and a KFC snack box, all set to go he then proceeded to hop over the boarded wall. kicking the front door off its hinges, was the start of his brake in mission, as he came faced with the hospitals side door. A small task complete and with that he was in, 'now to look for something other than graffiti, crackheads, and ghosts' he said to calm himself down.
For hours he searched for something, anything, until he came up to a room with the light still on and all he could here was the sound of a support machine beat…. beep…beep……….beep…beep……….beep…beep. a rush of excitement mixed with fear overtook him and without thinking he pushed open the door to find the most ‘sexyist piff ting’ he had ever seen. He knew he was right and now it was time for him to claim his treasure. With no one around lets just say they shared the same bed for a bit and as they ‘shared the same bed’ she arose and the course was broken. He jumped back in fright thinking that she was dead and screamed as she did to wake up to find a man lying on top of her. ‘WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU’ she screamed in an embarrassed response he choked out ‘i am a lawyer and i came here looking for you.’ … …. …
an awkward silence squeezed in for a good 30 seconds giving both parties time to think… the silence was then broken ‘so your are my knight in shining armour who uplifted the curse set up on me’ she said to him …’yes’ he lied confidently through his teeth, not quite knowing what had said yes to and just wanted to be a hero. So for the next hour lets just say they ‘talked’ and then went onto live for 70 years reaching the age of 86 having 7 kids and died peacefully in there sleep.

Quick sketch of the the front cover idea i had.

mini testers using water colour trying to get a hand of it.

Filed under sleep cougar bool book writing story i love writing work societry political update updated sleeping beauty

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Alice on cloud 9

Chapter 1:

Alice was getting tired of being at home with nothing to do but chill with her older sister. This got boring and the splif on the table suddenly became appealing, it wasn’t colourful or interesting ‘so what is the point of that then’ thought Alice. So when her sister left Alice then took it upon her-self to pick up the splif light it up and blaze like her sister would when mum went out to work.
The first puff made her choke uncontrollably ,but regardless of this curiosity made her do it again and… nothing and with that she quickly put it down and thought to herself ‘what a waste of time’.
At the corner of her eye a white rat ran past, Alice thought nothing of it as rats always always running around in her house. ‘shit! I will be late again’ mumbled the rat, still Alice thought this as nothing new (weirdly) until he pulled out a samsung galaxy S5 looked at the time and ran in a hurry.
This was new to Alice so she did what she thought was most logical and chased the rat until he ran to a bush covering a hole and jumped in it, for a mili-second she looked and curiosity again made her jump in the hole.
down, down, down, she fell ‘when will this end its been going on for 1000 of miles and the latitude alongside the longitude will make this coherent .’ she thought ‘logically’ to herself ( not that she understood the words she was saying) and as she thought it she dropped.THUMP! and weirdly enough she landed painlessly, she jumped to her feet, looked around at the empty tunnels filled with doors at the corner of her eye the smallest door to small for Alice to fit court her eye just like the spiff on the table. Next to the smallest door was a table with a bottle of Jack Daniels with a sign saying drink me. Alice simply thought to herself there is a small door and a bottle of JD , to fit through the door you must drink the JD and that’s what she did but just to be sure she read the bottle to see if it was a harmful substance. At first she hated the taste but got quickly acquainted with it and with in 30 seconds a 500ml of JD was gone.

Her head started to spin rapidly and a weird sensation occurred all over her body and by the time she opened her eyes she happened to be the same size as the door that court her eye, she froze for a couple seconds just in case she shrank again … she didn’t so with that she pushed open the door with a failed attempt as the door was locked , only then did it occur to her that she needed the golden key that was next to the bottle of Jack. She could see it from the floor looking up at the table and with a few pathetic attempts to jump for the key she realized it was too high up to reach, Alice then stopped to think how she could get the key after crying about her failed attempt to jump for the key and look around , and under the table there was a plate of ugly green looking space cake like the on her older sister eats when her friends come over, with another sign saying ‘eat me’ and without thinking Alice ate the cake because curiosity told her it has to make her bigger, witch is exactly what happened and as she grew she grabbed the key and drank the dregs from the JD on the table and re-shrunk to the size of the door and without hesitation she opened the door and walked though.

messing around experimenting with ball point pen re creating the 1st chapter. 

Chapter 2:

'WTF OMG' cried Alice in surprise turning her English to text form due to excitement as she looked at the landscape of what was on the other-side of the door, not that she had time to stay exited because out of nowhere the rat came out again this time wearing a pair of knuckle dusters on one hand and a lighter in another and again he muttered to him self ' dam! the bitch, the bitch , I have kept her waiting' as Alice went to talk to him 'yo, mr r-' The rat startled dropped his knuckle dusters and lighter and ran into the darkness. Alice picked up what the rat dropped and stated playing with the fire and wondered to herself 'what is wrong with me. Who am I? is this how we grow up?'. This was a deep question that played on her mind. As she was thinking about this she realized that she had walked a distance and scared of being lost she ran back for the door, another failed attempt because by the time she ran back to the door it closed and locked and she could not get back in.
with no other option but to find another way out Alice then started to walk around looking for the white rat that dragged her here (even though it was her curiosity but it made Alice feel better to put the blame on someone that wasn’t her).

”First I am late, now I lost the bitches gifts, FUCK SAKE! she is gunna shave me, execute me, fuuck! Where the fuck are her gifts I had to have dropped them” Rat mumbled to himself full of fear and anger. Alice saw this and realize that what she had picked up happened to be ‘the bitches’ gifts. It didn’t take long for the rat to notice Alice watching the rat loose his marbles and as soon as he saw her and in angry tone he called out ‘Mother-fucka, what the hell are you doing here? go home this instant and go get me some knuckle dusters and a lighter … Quick!’ and with fright mixed with stupidity Alice ran back in the direction she came from to go home and get what the rat wanted without even thinking to tell him that she had then already and explain what happened.
on the way she stumbled on what must of been the rats house with a sign saying W-rat engraved on the door, with no time to think she pushed open the door and ran upstairs and realized that one she had the the gifts in the first place and two… this is not her house and it is rude to run into someones house and start looking around, With that knowledge she then went to leave the house but stopped when she came to little room resembling her living room and walked in, in there the table was a set of lighters and knuckle dusters she grabbed one of each and attempted to leave the room but again curiosity spoke to her and pointed out the bottle of spiced rum on the table resembling the colour of apple juice. With the knowledge of past experience that everything she previously ate or drank had done something interesting she then proceeded to down the spiced rum like she did the JD. Just as she finished downing half the spiced rum her head wasn’t dizzy like the first time and started to grow uncontrollably overgrowing the room she was in until she had to go down on her knees wishing she hadn’t necked half the bottle , not that wishing she could change anything because she still contend to grow until she had to lay on her belly, now the bottle had don its magic and she was at the largest and she did not grown no more, she laid there uncomfortable wondering in ‘what if’, ‘what if I didn’t drink that drink , what if I didn’t go down the hole, then I would not have had to drink those drinks or get bossed around by a talking rat.’
but at the same time she thought ‘this is a once in a life time experience and is just like being in my own fairytale, I always wanted to be one as well’ at this point Alice started arguing to herself about how she had been stupid and she should learn her lesson of listening to every instruction given.

Chapter 3

Moments later angry rat came back shouting ‘mother-fucka get me them knuckle dusters and lighter this instance’ Alice knew it was rat and she got scared knowing that the out come on this was not to be a good one. Rat then came into the living room to be confuted by an over-sized Alice followed by a shock look as he stared at her eye to eye in disbelief. After a minute rat came out with the first suggestion on how to get oversized Alice out of the room ‘lets burn the house down’ he said as if it was the only option left in rapid response Alice screamed in fear ‘NO, lets not, where are the space cakes , you must have space cakes’ this stopped rat in his tracks an started to think long and hard and after what seemed hours he came to the mental conclusion he had some and in seconds he scampered off and came back in 30 seconds with paper cut into tabs with a picture of a decapitated rabbit, Eat this is , this should do the trick’ he said with a tone of confidence and with that Alice trusted him , not that she had any other choose and ate the tabs, as she placed them on her tongue she found that they dissolved instantly and and with that she felt a her tongue go numb and back down she came but now smaller than what she was previously. Frightened now that rat was taller than her she ran out of the room out the house and headed for what looked like the woods to seek safety. As she approached the ‘woods’ she saw a huge dog ( a small puppy if she was regular size and decided to catch a ride off it by waving a stick she found and gave it to the dog as a peace offering and climbed up using its hair as a rope, with this she just sat on the dog holding tight as it ran deep into the woods until he came to a halt, this was the sign for Alice to know she had aver stayed her welcome on the dogs back so with a polite ‘thank-you and take care’ off Alice climbed and took the journey by foot where she came to a red with white polka dot mushroom, the size of her and wondered of eating this would get her back to her original size just like in the Mario games. Just before she bit into it she inspected the mushroom and as she looked on the top she was confronted a large slug with its arms folded smoking an over sized cigar like the ones you get in a gangster movie, who did not even pay Alice with the slighted bit of attention.

Chapter 4

After a wile of staring between Alice and the slug both trying to workout who the other was slug broke the silence and in a deep patois accent slug spoke ‘who is yuh’ Alice did not know how to answer this question, how could she possibly answer if she did not even know the answer herself, so to to this she replied ‘I.. I don’t …really know myself, i did know who i was this morning i must have changed a few times during the day’.’ Ah wah yuh mean? yuh a chameleon? explain yuhself’ replied the slug sternly in confusion.’I can’t explain, I don’t understand myself, so to even try and explain will be senseless , my head has been all over the place today and I have been everywhere and been many sizes, if you ben what i have been through you would feel the same right?’ Alice tried to explain and the slugs reply ’ mi nuh understand yuh and mi nuh feel like yuh. Suh mi ask yuh again , who is yuh?’ Alice was getting annoyed now with the convocation circling back to the start and as an attempt to brake it she said ’ why don’t you tell me who you are’ ‘why yuh want fi know’ replied slug.This puzzled Alice again and she could not think of a good reason on to who she would want to know about slug, as the slug seemed to be a foul mood so with that Alice walked off ‘come back’ shouted slug ‘mi av somting important fi tell yuh’. This sounded promising and more fruitful than the last conversation she just had with slug ‘cook yuh self nuh mon’ he said in reply to this Alice said with defence and rudeness ‘was that it’ , ‘nuh liccle miss renk’ replied slug
and with nothing better to do she waited plus he might have knowledge worth knowing. After he puffed his cigar he slowly unfolded his arms took the cigar out his mouth and said ‘suh yuh tink yuh change?’. ‘Yes, yes i do,I keep chaining sizes and forgetting things I used to know’ replied Alice ‘cyan remeba wah?’ he said.
'Things like drake.
Started from the top bottom now here’.
She replied in a monotone voice. ‘Repeat Nas ether, the diss to Jay-z’ said slug
(I) fuck your soul like ether
(lose) i prove you lose already.
(will) teach you the king you need know you …ermmm
'god's son' across the back'.
rapped alice unsuccessfully.’Not quite right is it , the words are alternated’ Alice said again.’nah , none of it right’ he replied. They both stared at each other for a good minute ‘wah size yuh want fi bi?’ slug broke the silence ‘i really don’t know , and i hate constantly changing sizes, you get me’ she protested ‘mi nah nuh yuh nuh’ said the slug ‘what’ Alice did not understand ‘mi seh, mi nah know’ he said slower ‘alice paused she was so pissed off , she had never dealt with such contradiction before in her life. ‘Yuh ‘appy now’ he replied to brake the reoccurring silence.’well i would like to be a little larger , if you would not mind,3 inches is the size of a small dick’ Alice stated trying to cause offence to the slug for making her angry.’dis a nice hight tank-yuh very much!’ he said angrily standing up to exactly 3 inches small. ‘But i am not accustomed to this size!’ she replied matching the anger he had in his voice. ‘why y’all creatures get offended so easy for man ,truss’ she then went on to say weirdly changing her voice to an american from the getto side of new york.’dont worry yuh self yuh get used to it in time ,truss’ replied slug a patronising voice. again the atmosphere became silent as slug put his cigar back into his mouth and he puffed away. A minit later he went and re-broke the silence and said ‘mi gone liccle miss renk , but mi leff yuh wid diss, pik a side, one a guh mek yuh tall an di other one a mek yuh liccle.’ and with that he lift leaving alice in confusion ‘what? raute small? big? what? where?’ she shouted in the distance to slug and just before he got out of hearing range he shouted back ‘di mushroom’.

Alice looked st both sides looking for a difference in both side to give her a clue into witch side will change her the size she wanted, After finding difference between ether side alice went with her gut instinct and took a bite out of the the right and side only because she was right handed. and like last time she waited… something was different this time ,normally her head span, not this time.

Trile test done in pen, i chose this chapter to recreate as a trile to get a feel of creating a piece of work in the same visual language as John Tenniel.

Chapter 5

Her eye sight became fuzzy to a point where she could not see and over the previous seconds to come her sight was to come back but this time emphasizing the colours in witch she saw all around her like something from a cartoon, grass became luminescent green Hi-Viz on a builders jacked or one of those chavy 13 year old mini skirt on they where on a ‘night out’. ‘what is going on’ shouted alice hoping slug would here and come back to her aid, but unfortunately he never herd, instead what happened is she slowly re-transformed into a spider sprouting out arms and legs out of nowhere, hair coming out of every part of her body and no sooner as she turned and wonder what happened a shriek came from no where ‘spider!!’ Alice in panic looked around and the shriek came again ‘spider !!’ this time Alice knew she was the one being talked about Alice knew there was no point in trying to deny what she was because there was no way in convince the bird that spider was a little girl so to save herself she cried out ‘I am not here to cause a problem’ and with that she scamper away. In her hand was still pieces of the mushroom, with no other option she decided she must eat pieces of the mushroom to regain the correct size she once was and after an hour of transformations from giants, to gorillas, to human of uncomfortable heights, she finely regained to her correct size and with that she dropped what was left of the mushroom and carried on wondering aimlessly until she came to a halt when in the distance she saw what looked like a night club like the one her sister goes to on a Monday night with her friends, ‘i don’t want to go there’ said Alice to herself ‘every time my sister comes home from there she is really horrible to me and throws up all over the house’ but curiosity is what we call convincing, he has the ability to sway the weak minds and with this Alice decided to go in to the club and ‘check it out’. This club was different like other time there was no big man standing outside the club so as anyone els would do, she walked in.

Chapter 6

As soon as she entered bass shot through Alice as Shy FX played out from, what she thought had to be, 1000 inch subs lined in and stack one on top of each other in the corner, instantly knocking her off her feet for a brief second before re-orientating herself then looked around the room. ‘The club is packed’ shouted everyone in the room, ‘There is’ Alice said in protest and to prove that point ( and because she wanted to stay at the club to ‘check it out’) so she stayed and started ‘skanking to the bass’. ‘have some jager bombs with us’ the fitted cap man proceed to say after seeing Alice skank. ‘Here is no jager bombs only Champagne’ exclaims Alice ‘that is not cool’ she continues ‘well its not ‘kool’ for you to come here and just start skanking to out music without an invite’ said the guy in the fitted cap ‘I am sorry,I didn’t mean to be rude i just wanted to have a bit of fun like grown ups so i just though i would jam with you guys’ Alice said knowing full well she had been rude and attempted to make up for the damage she has caused ‘naa mans he cool let her jam with us she looks like fun and she got moves’ said the man in the fitted cap.

For the next hour or so Alice danced and drunk Champagne along side the fitted cap man and everyone els she met to day. White rat, slug, pigeon and this woman she had not met before, with a wild guess (which was correct) Alice said to herself ‘that must be Bitch that white rat needed the gifts for’. with this knowledge she did nothing as she was having too much fun to cause tension. After another hour Alice turned into her sister on a Monday night and started dancing on tables chaired and anywhere but on the floor until she tipped the last glass of Champagne down her throat, witch tipped her off balance and tipper her to the floor from her tip toes unconscious.

'where am i' Alice said in a dazed voice lost to the soundings trying to re-orientating herself, yet again. 'where you was for the past 7 hours, stoned out your face drooling all over the sofa murmuring shit about a rat and a slug like a mad man' said Alice's sister in an informative, sarcastic answer fused with authority. I..I .I don't know hat happened to me i was like … i wont bother' Alice said realizing that there was no point to explain and she should grow up and take any punishment given for her wrong doings, 'I tell you what happened, i made a splif, went to make you food and by the time i came you had smoked my joint and ran off to some cloud 9 leaving me to eat your food. But that's between us. Mum knows NOTHING, OK!' and with that speech from her wiser older sister it was left as that.

Pen scribbles testing out pen and its affects.

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Elmer The Multicultural Boy

There was one a herd of wild children, that lived in Birmingham.
Boys and girls young,boys and girls in there teens,
boys and girls fat or tall or short or thin.
Boys and girls like this, that or the other, all different
in there own unique way but all happy and the same race but one.

All except Elmer.
Elmer was different he was multicultural.

Elmer was part; white British Polish and Indian Asian and Chinese Asian and
Black Caribbean and African.
Elmer was not of the ‘normal’ boy colour in his postcode.

It was Elmer who kept all this children in his area happy and united.
Sometimes he joked with the other children, sometimes they joked with him.
but if there was a smile on someones face when Elmer was there, it was usually
Elmer who started it.

One night after coming home from school, a load of children from another area started
calling Elmer racist names such as ‘half breed’ and ‘mud blood’ and ‘Nigger’ and ‘Packi’ and ‘illegal immigrant’ and ‘go back home to where you come from’ and loads of other names.

This had been happening for a few weeks and Elmer never told anyone because he did not know how to handle the situation and he thought no one would take him seriously.
Elmer could not sleep because of this and it seemed to get worse as the weeks
went by. Instead of sleeping Elmer kept thinking.

'Is there a way i can be white like all the other kids?'
'whoever herd of a multicultural boy in a white area? No wonder the kids keep talking the mickey out of me.'

So Elma thought a genius idea.

In the morning before everyone was awake, Elmer slipped quietly away unnoticed.
As he walked through city, well out of his postcode.
As he walked through the city he met other races.

He met Pakistanis and Indians and Africans and Europeans and Caribbean’s and Chinese and Japanese and Philippines and much more.
They always said ‘good morning brother.’
Each time Elmer smiles and said ‘good morning’
After a long walk Elmer found what he was looking for - a pharmacy.

And in there was bleach, a whole aisle filled with different brands of skin bleaches and sizes.
Elmer picked up the biggest container of bleach he could find and covered himself from head to toe like Vibes Kartel, thickly applying the content in the container until there was no sign of Polish or Indian Asian or Chinese Asian or Black Caribbean or African.

when he had finished he looked like all the other the children in his area.

After that Elmer set of back his postcode area. On the way back he passed the other races again.
This time the Pakistanis and Indians and Africans and Europeans and Caribbean’s and Chinese and Japanese and Philippines and the other races said ‘good morning brother.’
like last time but no one recognized him.
Each time Elmer smiled and replied ‘good morning’ pleased that he was not recognized.

When Elmer rejoined the rest of the kids they where all standing quietly. None of them recognized Elmer as he worked his way through his area.

After a while Elmer felt that something was wrong, But what? he looked around same old house same old pot holes in the roads same old glass filled pavements that the council never cleaned
and lastly the same old children. Elmer looked at them.
The children where standing absolutely still: Elmer had never seen then so serious before. The more he looked at the serious, silent, still, standing children, there more he wanted to cry.

Finally he could not bare it no longer and he broke down in front of everyone.

The children all turned and was in shock
"oh my gosh golly" they all said as they saw Elmer helpless with tears running down his face.
"Elmer," they said "it must be him , whats wrong Elmer?"
Then all the other children crowded around him any cried like never before when Elmer had told them why he bleached his skin because of the kids on the way home from school.

They all cried and told Elmer they where sorry he felt different to the rest of them and how they where going to walk home with Elmer after school to protect him.
Suddenly the rain could cloud burst and when the rain fell on Elmer his real skin colour started to show again and all of them started to laugh in relief as Elmer returned back to his original self.

"oh Elmer," gasped a concerned parent. "you had us all in shock there for a long while, do not ever pull a stunt like that again, you can always try and change but your true colours will always show through."

"we must celebrate this day every year, as a day to be proud of your heritage and culture and skin colour and all it Elmer’s day" said another parent.

All boys and girls must appreciate all colours and races and cultures and stay true to who they are.

tester sketch of front cover to see what does and does not work.

working progress  of front cover. sketched using SAI pain tool 

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